Sardar's car

A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a 1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a good price because of its excess mileage. He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help. The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days, the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar would have sold the car. A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30,000 kilometres."

Sardar and AIDS

A sardar, a Madrasi and a Gujarati were waiting for a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and said in a menacing tone - "Give me all your valuables or I'll pierce you with this needle. This contains AIDS infected blood!"
Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except the sardar. The Madrasi immediately gave away all his valuables. The Gujju bargained with the stranger and gave away half of his belongings. The sardar, however, was unfazed. He refused to part with his money. In anger and frustration, the guy pricked the sardar with the needle and ran away.
The alarmed Madrasi and Gujju asked the sardar - " How could you do this? Now you will get AIDS surely!"
The sardar coolly replied - " No! I won't! I am wearing a condom".

Sardar's jailbreak

Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati, and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn. The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks."
The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant told the warden there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes"

Sardar Wins the Lottery

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. 
He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs.

The man replied, "No, sir.  It doesn't work that way.  We give you one lakh
today and then you'll get the rest spread
out for the next 19 weeks."

The Sardar said, "Oh, no.  I want all my money right now! I won it and I want
it."

Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest
during the next 19 weeks.

The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money!  If
you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right
now, then I want my five rupees back!"

Sardar's Blunders

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"
The rest is history.

He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up"
Daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted
to stay here for a night....."

The rest is history.

sardar and an american

A Sardar and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from
Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.

The Sardar, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he
politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Sardar declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5,
and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the sardar's attention and, figuring there
will be no end to this torment,
agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardar doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,
pulls out a $5 bill and
hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Sardar asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Sardar and
hands him $500.

The Sardar thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the
Sardar and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardar reaches into his purse, hands
the American $5,

and goes back to sleep

Sardar's Y2K solution

Report submitted by Banta Singh to his manager after completing his Y2K
verification task.
Dear Sir,
      Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on
budget. We have gone through every line of code
in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data
files, including backups and historic
archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to
report that we have completed the "Y-to-K"
date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs
and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk,
August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

      I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of
this Y to K problem has made any sense to
me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help
in any way possible. And what does the year
2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to
do next year when the two digit year rolls
over from 99 to 00?
We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerely
Banta Singh
Y2K Project Leader

Sardar's donkey

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Sardar's prayer

A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
The Sardarji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!! Back to the temple..................
"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the voice of Lord: "SARDARJI, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".

Sardar and Cancer

Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a
lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer
and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." 

Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character,
managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been
waiting. Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short
time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints,
the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some
of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the
good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only
got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more
beers.  After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from
AIDS!" 

Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want any
of them around your mother after I'm gone." 

sardar in exam

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.

Sardar and Jurassic Park

This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the

Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when

his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar

kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" (What Sardarji? Are you afraid

of the cinema?).Sardarji replies "Aadmi

hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar

hai, usko kya pata "( I am an intelligent(?) man, I know it is a

movie, but does that animal know?)

Sardar and Bus Ride

Bus ride
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."

Smart Sardarji

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Race to the Sun

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Sardarji Jokes

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.

sardarji's cooler

Q: SARDAR ji agar aapko Garmi lage to aap kya karte ho?
A: Sarar - Mai Cooler ki Saamne baith jata hu.
Q: Agar fir bhi Garmii lage to?
A: Sardar: To Cooler "ON" kar leta hu

One Sardar goes to the shop to purchase the Indian Flag.
After having a look at the flag Sardar uttered something due to which the shopkeeper fainted then and there.
GUESS WHAT Sardar had asked the shopkeeper for?
"SHOW ME MORE COLOURS IN THIS FLAG"

sardar in toilet

A sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.
Somebody asked - sardarji aap ko chain nahin hai kya?.
Sardar - Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi.

Sardar in train

Sardar: I haven't slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didnt you exchange your seat?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth.

SARDAR IN KBC....

Amitabh: In which state does the river GANGA flow???

Sardar: LIQUID STATE...

ALL THE AUDIENCE STARTED CLAPPING....

Amitabh was stunned and looked around

ALL THE AUDIENCE WAS SARDARS....

Sardar Nude interview

One sardar was walking nude in the city then one man ask sardar “Y sardarji ur
Walking nude on the road"

Sardar Angry on him n Reply:" U don’t know 2day is my Open Interview.

Sardar Sleeping

Sardar was standing in front of the Mirror with his eyes closed.

Wife - What do you think you are doing?

Sardar - I just want to know how i look when I sleep...